Wellness is pursued from the outside in and from the inside out. During the healing process that results, it becomes tricky to diagnose which fabulous experience is most responsible: was it the colonic (or “bowel irrigation”)? The flotation tank (or “forced relaxation”)? Or could it have been a performance artist's impersonation of a physician (or “fake doctor”)? But the more crucial question may become: can America achieve “integrated wellness"? The song of the week (a medley of national anthems and Civil War hurrahs) offers old-timey suggestions.